July 16, 2017

Pointers for Newly Grads (and Not-So-Newly Grads)

Graduation Day with my Blockmates (March 26, 2010 DLSU-Dasmariñas)

"If you want something to hold on to, you have to have it first". And for you newly grads, you've just earned it, congratulations! They kept on telling you months before the ceremonies that "you'll soon be part of the real world", and before you knew it, you're already in it. The thing is, what is the real world? How do you take on it?

The real world is a world that is solely your own. A place where you can be whatever you want to be-with just one simple condition, you have to work for it. It doesn't always involve spending an 8-10 hour daily shifts at the office, or month-long preparations to land a starting point to a career path. Sometimes, the struggles that are in between are the ones you have to do extra work on. Surely there will be moments like "I got hired! But do I really want this job?" or "I hate this company, but is there something about this place that will help me get through to the next level?", such trade-offs and contradictions that honestly has struck our minds and my heart probably a hunderd times.

I know I'm not in a position to tell you how to be successful, for neither I am not at this moment. But as I write this, I guess I can tell you how I saw this journey and how I am seeing it now as I go through it. Here are a few tips I can share as we go through it together:

Set an ultimate goal for yourself.


On a deep chat conversation with my cousin Carmeline - a lawyer and somebody who I look up to as one of my mentors, she told me that "Everything ends and begins with your solid desire". One should be clear as to what he/she wants. Then, you push yourself towards that direction. Not always easy, she exclaimed, but you will make it. My drama king self still gets a tear or two every time I read what she said.

Ate Carm also told me that one should not be afraid of moving from a job to another. Because after all, it's not really quitting, it's calibrating your map towards that one specific goal. It may take you two or three of five jobs to finally get to your goal, but in the end, the sweetness of being in and living that dream is definitely rewarding. So as long as you don't have that goal, you'll just be floating in a big pool of a life with no reason. If you still don't have that dream, look for it, reflect, explore. It was my 27th birthday when she told these words to me which made me realise how I've been living my life without that ultimate goal. Now that I found my ultimate goal (a month after our conversation), I realise how scary it was not to have it.

Mistakes makes us smarter, makes us stronger. 


You've probably heard this one from a thousand people a million times over and over again. But to tell you, it's true. As of now to be honest, I can't consider myself as someone who is strong. I think I have made just a few mistakes in school, in life, in work. Not because I'm smart or I'm good at things, but it's because I'm afraid to try.

On a film I watched starring Shirley Maclaine, her character Harriet said that "We should all fall on our face". We've all been there right? Even if it's about school, or with love, or with life as we know it, we've all tripped and landed face down. For me, those moments aren't to be erased or be forgotten for those are the times where slips leave a mark where we least want it, thus will always make us remember how we made it through on such misfortunes.

Be Fearless. 


I'm not telling you to yell at your manager for being unfair, or join that interest group at work that teaches you how to ride a motorcycle with blindfolds on. Being fearless requires a strong heart that can resonate within yourself that "You can be whatever you want to be".

The world is very accepting right now. Your degree may be in finance, but the world of fashion awaits you just as long as you take that chance. A framed "Bachelor of Science in Computer Science" diploma can actually be a ticket to being one of the best Geographers in the world. If you're college course led you to a path that you really wanted, then good for you! But if not, it's not the end of the world for us millennials. We're young, we're fearless, we can make it happen, I trust in you!

Go back to school. Learn further, farther. 


Some of us dread school and for a lot of graduates, the only thing they miss about going to uni are their classmates and friends, never the schooling process. But I tell you, if you really want to go far, Graduate School may be your magic carpet to that palace in the clouds you are longing for. I spent a year in Master's but yes, I did well during my time but still, I stopped.

At first, I thought graduate school is not for me but then I realise, I'm just taking the wrong course, the wrong field. So right now do I want to go to Graduate School? By all means, Yes! But this time, I'll follow not what's required of me, but what field my heart really wants in, what my mind wants to learn more about. Oh I imagine how learning is when you're studying something you are passionate about.

You have to deserve it. 


I got this on a ride home from Manila with my cousin Caren Viniegra, who is also like most of you (yes you, reader!) who just graduated college and will be entering Law school. She got this statement from one of her older sisters Carmina (Carmeline is their eldest sister, how can you not love these siblings?). Caren told me that no matter how smart you are or how capable you are of doing something, if you don't work hard for it, then it will not be given to you. You have to earn it. When she said this, it sent me shivers.

There were times when I had this silent overconfidence within myself, about myself. On a job application as a corporate auditor for a prestigious airline company, I can say I did well every interview by showing them who I am, but I did not end up having the position. To be honest, the fact that I reached that fifth and final interview despite having a different college degree and job experiences that are way too far than what the position requires, it makes me smile as I look back to it. through that experience, I realise that aside from the thought that maybe God wants me somewhere else than there, I did not land the job because I did not deserve it. Not because I'm not smart enough or I lack experience, but because I did not prepare enough.

If you want it, you have to deserve it. Earn it by working hard for it.

***

I haven't been to were I wanted to be, but I know it all depends on myself, and God of course, to be on that very place. Being there won't be as smooth for some as it is easier for others, but all the efforts, the risks, and the hard work will definitely payoff once you're there. But to "be there", remember, you have to dream, fail, stand up, learn, and deserve it.

Graduation Day (March 26, 2010 - DLSU-Dasmariñas)

Never Stop Pushing!
Steve
200600549

July 11, 2017

How do we Move On from Love?

Camiguin Sunset January 2015

"Love comes to us on times when we least expect it" - we get to hear this a lot but who can ever deny this fact? No matter how we shield our hearts and stay away from cupid's arrows, there's always that chance that it will hit a bulls eye right at the very center. But once all the love and care and concern starts to fail, how do we get to move on from it? Or worse, do we really move on from such love?

We can never tell that a love is true, unless we have something to compare it with. A past relationship or sometimes, through an experience by a friend or somebody close to us. Experiences really do play a big part on how we become wise not just with other aspects in life but also in love, especially in love. Saddest thing is, most of the time, love can only be proven true once it is ending. When it's over, the hurt isn't just emotional, you can even feel it physically with your body feeling different as it normally should. The big question is, how do get away from the hurt?

There's nothing much you can do to than to let it pass. As cliche as it may sound, aside from prayers, only time can do the healing. There are situations that can make moving on easier, but after all, nothing is easy when it comes to love. Love is something we don't impose and losing love and taking it out of your system is also a process that one can never truly master. But here's a few things that might help:

Distance


One of the most helpful thing is to distance yourself with your past love. Distance makes us realize a lot of things that will never touch our minds when we are near our used-to-be-special-someone. Through their absence, you'll realize how much of yourself you have provided to him, how much time and care and effort you have selflessly given to her, and yes, also through distance, you'll find yourself longing for that attachment you once had with that person. Distance can either make you or break you; thus you have to be strong. 

On the other hand, some others can never get this 'distance' thing going on a place where life left them as they part ways. This happens when you are in the same class with your ex-girlfriend, or you work at the same company with your ex-boyfriend, believe me, this is unimaginable. Seeing him or her every single day makes moving on way harder. There will be days that you just hate seeing them or even the slightest hint of their voice will irritate your hearing. And days will also come where you long for their company, their scent, their stare, their love.

Finding Your Next Love


Depending on the level of moving on that you are in when you decide to "bring on the next", searching for your next Mister Right or Dream Girl can both be good and bad at the same time. Besides, we enter a relationship hoping to find someone that will be our last. We don't usually enter a relationship just to have somebody 'for the mean time' but to have somebody to love for the rest of our lives. The thing is, if we are not yet ready as we do our search, the next one could just end up as a rebound.

Rebound relationships doesn't end up bad at all times, because there are accounts when the rebound turns out to be 'The One'. But always think selflessly. What if you found out that you are just a rebound? Someone who is just being used as a shield against an ex-lover, an ex-lover who is still the apple of their eye. It will hurt so much wouldn't it? So make sure you are ready and have moved on before you enter another relationship, Karma is a big bad bitch so better be on the good side of it.

Acceptance


Accept that you have loved. Accept that no matter if you were loved or not, you did love, you did exert time, effort, and most of all, feelings. Things that can never be taken back. What's hard is that when we love truly, it really never goes, it just diminishes or weakens, but it never fades completely even through time. We should accept the fact that the hurt will always be there but we can use it to make things better, to make the next relationship stronger.

Also, never regret ever loving. Because when you look back, it did made you happy, it did give you unexplained joy, we just don't know if the other person felt that way too.

Closure


This is probably one of the biggest 'gifts' one from a failing relationship can get. As much as we admit it or not, closure is very important. Why did it fail? Can it still be fixed? If not, can at least friendship be regained? Or if not again, will there be anything that can be taken from it that will give both parties peace of mind? Closure is the biggest ingredient in the recipe to bake the delicious moving-on pie. It gives you peace, serenity, and just the answers to all your questions why it all fell out.

Did he ever love me? Was she ever true to me in the first place? Was everything I did for him, worth even a little bit of something? As long as our minds are clouded by all these questions, moving on is a few million light years away. But the sad thing about this is the fact that not every ending relationship receives closure. As to any partnership, there's always one that gives more and another that gives less and unfortunately, closure can be one of the things deprived by someone to somebody.

Closure is very important especially for people who haven't love so much in their lives. Those that have guarded their heart for a long time and suddenly find themselves face to face with their first love, their one-true-love (at the moment) and also seeing it fade from sight at their very eyes. Just when everyone their age is starting to build homes and families, some people are just starting to get to know their first love. Sometimes, life gives love to a person a little late and that's when it's most crushing. The feeling that any time of the day, the bolts on your mind will just loosen. The false relativity that their fresh and immature minds think that an ending relationship equates to a relationship that has no love after all. This is wrong, well most of the time, because sometimes, some people are just afraid of the elements, contained on a certain situation, that they can't simply express how much they love a person.

Honestly, there are times that even as you look back all the love, you will still question it all in the end because closure is a big way to express appreciation and to show that even if the relationship, or for some cases, the would-have-been-relationship failed, everything that happened was real. Every feeling felt, every smile shown, every time shared, every text message, every video call, every funny joke, every thought - Closure affirms and makes you accept that despite the ending, everything that happened was all worth it, that everything was real. Even if your efforts weren't given a 'Thank You'. Even if your kindness and thoughts didn't seem to be appreciated. Even if the closest answer to your 'I Love You' was 'Maybe' and never an 'I Love You Too'.

***

To you who's been lucky enough to be somebody's first love, take care of it. You have no idea how hard it is for somebody to finally open up their locked heart, and give their all to somebody for the very first time. You don't have to feel the same way if you really don't. But please, at least give importance to that love so pure, so innocent, so immature. You may not be his or her last love, but at least you can make him or her a better person not by breaking them, but by being a great person that someone will remember forever with a smile. His or her next love story will always depend on the kind of movie you will be starring in for them. Never forget that this might be your fourth, fifth, or tenth feature film-for him, it's his very first. First love, first heartache, first heartbreak. Finally, as much as you can, please don't hurt him.

In the End, How do we totally move on from a love? We never really do...

Never Stop Loving!
Steve

This post is my entry for this week's "Our World Tuesday" where family-friendly bloggers share images of their world and tell us a little bit of the story about the place. If you wish to see more amazing stories from different parts of the world and do a virtual tour from their side of town, Click on THIS LINK

July 8, 2017

They Say: "What I Miss About DLSU-D"


"Hail! Hail Alma Mater! Hail to De La Salle!". Remembering the time while I was singing these lines on my Graduation Day last March of 2010, with so much heart and might just gives me chills. Nothing like it gives me a strong feeling of pride that for once in my life, and forever will, I shall bleed green.

Truly, one of the biggest things in my life that I am certainly proud and thankful of, is the fact that I am a La Sallian. For four years as a La Sallian student and another five years as a La Sallian educator, the culture and the heart of this Green institution has brought me to places I have never thought I'd be in.

Magdalo Gate (Gate 1 as we call it during our times)

But there are a lot of things that we really miss and remember after all those years. Specific memories like lunches at Jefcee's involving friends, Burger Steaks, and Shakes, early morning prayers during examination week at the University Chapel, lively conversations at the JFH kubo with your barkada as you show them your best impressions of your worst professors, and just the walking and walking and running and walking towards your next class at the other side of the campus.

Let's here what my dearest brothers and sisters from DLSU-D say as they answer "What do I miss about DLSU-D?"


Ian Lordeo G
BS Human Biology 2009
"3 things I miss in DLSUD: [1] Food at the Square Canteen. There's a lot of food choices like the pasta in Oven Maid and Ate Siony's Pork sisig. [2] Walking along the University Avenue - Gives me time to think of what to do and also meet friends. And last but definitely not least, [3] the very loving and nurturing professors and staff. I'll surely go back to Dasma whenever I have the time."

Maria Cristina P
BS Computer Science 2000
"I miss the feeling of being home while at DLSU-D. It has a breathtaking environment welcoming me each day which made my student-life delightful. I miss the La Sallian community, my professors and classmates. I love hearing messages in the Chapel too!"
Mervin M
Master of Business Administration 2009
"When I was studying at DLSU-D, my classroom is at the CBA Building which is located at the middle of the campus. Being a huge campus, I used to walk from the gate to the CBA Building. That's what I miss most. The long walk going to my class."
Mervin Marasigan is the owner of one of the Philippines' best travel blogs "Pinoy Adventurista" - visit it at http://www.pinoyadventurista.com/

Anne Mary Jay O
BS Information Technology 2014
"What I miss about DLSUD is the "homey" feeling when you are inside the campus. The chill vibe and the feeling like you are one with nature (not to mention we are the greenest campus). You know the feeling when you just can't wait to leave, but when the time comes, you'll feel a little bit of sadness. Unexpected #sepanx it is!"
Anne Oliveros is also a blogger and she is now based in Singapore. You can check out her spot at http://anneoliveros.wordpress.com/

Radzma D
BS Industrial Engineering 2006
"Definitely the long walks from Gate 3 to our classroom buildings, passing through the university oval, that's one thing I will never forget. Aside from that, being in the library on my vacant periods, sitting on the floor, reading every pocket book and novel I can get my hands on."


Marianne G
AB Communication Arts 2005
"DLSU -D has been my home for 4 years. This is where my personality was harnessed, where I was able to appreciate life even more, as I realized that not everyone or every student are privileged to study in this university. There are a lot of things or people that I miss here. First is my TWI family, Lani, Shinna, Chow, Dessa, Zan, Maroe, and Tina. The years of studies and exams every semester have been tough and I couldn't have made it without them with our every day pikunan, kulitan, and tawanan at the end of the day.

I miss walking at the EDSA pathway or the main road from Gate 1 going to Square Canteen just like fall season because as you walk with other students, leaves from the trees are falling as well. (MTV emote emote). I miss the buko juice from SBS canteen, the sisig of aling minervas, the stromboli from square canteen, and of course Jataynas! And of course, I miss my favorite professors Sir Geslani and Miss Sigari.

Being in the university is not just about studying or learning, it is about touching lives, respecting people, and faith in God which De La Salle has instilled in me. The feeling of being in La Salle, the atmosphere, it really is different."

Marianne Gobres also writes on her blog as Lakwatserang Cavitenia. Visit her blog at http://lakwatserangcavitenia.blogspot.com/

Sheryl K
BS Computer Science 1998
"What i miss about DLSUD, my alma mater, eventhough I work here, is the serene, tranquil atmosphere when I walk from what we then call "coastal", the straight route now from Rotonda to the University Food Square. Perhaps because between the school population then and now, you can even reflect while walking because of the defeaning silence going to that route.

Also, the food in the canteen. Back in the days, Ate Aning, the owner of A's canteen, the biggest canteen then, used to serve us their staple dish like Giniling(ground pork) with egg, which was super tasty, promise!! And their Hamonado(meatloaf) and Lechon Kawali(fried pork). This canteen was memorable to us because it serves food good for two, so were able to share so we can save!

Lastly, our beloved professors, who had different and great impact in our lives, who taught us everything they knew about life and academics, who has set the path that we have taken that lead us to where we are right now. To them, we will forever be grateful."


Ferdie Ray L
BS Management Accounting 2010
"What I really miss about DLSU-D is the serenity of the place. Students and professors can find a perfect spot where they can study, chit-chat, or even have picnics under the shades of big trees while listening to the chirping birds. Besides from being conducive for the above-mentioned activities, we consider it as a second home because we feel safe, loved, and nurtured inside the University. DLSU-D is truly an Alma Mater - a "nourishing mother"."

Kimberly C
BS Computer Science 2014
"There are a lot of times, even right after graduation, that I was asked this question and I just smiled every time. There are lots of things to include in the list but the people of De La Salle University - Dasmariñas definitely topped. You can never see people like them anywhere else as their differences are bound by one love, love for their Alma Mater."

Anthony C
AB Psychology 2011
"An environment friendly school, near my favorite computer shop, with a lot of beautiful ladies taking AB Psychology? Unforgettable haha! But most of all, those who have imprinted something on your mind helping you grow and be a better person."




***

We all have reasons why we miss our beloved Alma Mater, but as a true blooded Patriot, these things will live on every single day for the rest of our lives. We may have spent just four, five, or even seven years in DLSU-D, but these experiences and memories will always be as colorful as a beautiful movie in our minds and in our hearts.

Lake La Salle / University Lagoon

As I always tell my students before, "I am proud to be from La Salle, but it is forever an honor to be from La Salle Dasma."

Never Stop Being A La Sallian! 
Steve

THEY SAY is a segment on my blog which features a little survey where I asked a few of my friends and readers about a certain subject. A Topic is started and they would respond in the way it applies to their lives and experiences.